Have you ever encountered your ex in an unexpected setting? I once bumped into my ex in a Mexican restaurant a few weeks after a traumatic breakup, and I literally dove under the table to keep him from noticing me. We ended up on somewhat good terms, so it wasn’t that I was afraid to speak to him; rather, I was just so taken aback by the sight of his face that I was at a loss for words. I’m sure you may relate to this anxious feeling if the last time you saw your ex didn’t go as planned.
Depending on how things ended, you and your ex might have struck up a conversation… or maybe you made eye contact and then pretended to be perfect strangers. To put it mildly, navigating conversations with ex-partners may be difficult. While some people are able to rekindle their friendships, others are unable to do so. Seeing an ex can trigger a torrent of recollections about your relationship and how it ended, regardless of the circumstance.
To understand just how varied these types of interactions are, I asked people to share stories about the last time they saw their ex. Some are cringe-worthy, some are sweet, and some are just downright uncomfortable. Read on and prepare to laugh and cry at the same time.
Hidden Objective
We dated for four and a half years before calling it quits at the end of my first year of college. We cut off communication after I was crushed so I could go on. He sent me this SMS asking to talk two years later. I first encountered him that evening at his place of employment, when he was closing down a pizza restaurant and playing all of our songs over the intercom. We walked to a gazebo in a park where he expressed regret and his desire for reconciliation. We bonded in the gazebo and talked nonstop for many hours. Then, we texted all the next day, and he said he wanted to be with me… but then said out of the blue that he had a girlfriend, which he had failed to mention when we were together the night before. I’ve cut off contact since then, but he’ll still reach out every once in a while to try to see me. Oh, and he and the girlfriend? They recently bought a house together.
Getting It Done
We share a building, so last week we exercised within about four feet of one another for an hour without saying a word to one another. He wouldn’t be there so late, so I went to the gym in our building around ten o’clock in the evening. I went insane when he entered the room at ten. He exercised for a full hour behind the elliptical I was on, and we would both glance up at each other (me through the reflection of the window in front of me) and then quickly look down at our phones to avoid realizing that we were the only two people using the gym.
Whirlwind Reunion
He cheated on me and crushed my heart during our two-year relationship (of which one was spent apart). [Later], he was flying from California to Baltimore, where I was living at the time, for a college day thing. But he assumed that he was staying with me, not his friends. Keep in mind, he was and is still dating the girl he cheated on me with. So, he came to Baltimore to basically spend the weekend with me, and this was the first time I saw him since the breakup … so you could imagine all the feelings I was going through. We cried, laughed, fought, and made up all in three days, and it was one of the craziest emotional roller coasters I have ever been on.
Imposing gestures
Before I obtained a job in New York and went back last year, I lived in the south with my ex for four years. We broke up because I met someone else, but also because he kissed another girl as soon as I got the new job as retaliation for me ‘leaving him.’ My grandpa passed away in May, and I hadn’t seen my ex for seven months. He showed up to my grandpa’s funeral all dressed up, prepared for me to be dazzled … but I was totally put off by how not into him I was after all those years together. Especially since I’m now with my future husband, who is my soulmate. [My ex] hugged me awkwardly when we saw one another, and the hug reminded me of all the things I didn’t like about our relationship. I felt 100% at ease knowing that I wished him no ill will and was truly over the relationship.
Returning To Old Patterns
After a rather lengthy text from my ex expressing his regret and how much he missed me, I last saw him in March. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because that was so out of character for him to see if anything changed. To’reconnect,’ [we] went out to dinner three times, but despite my best efforts, I never felt anything. When I was sincere, he completely lost it and reverted to his selfish and immature ways. I’ve never been happier, so it was wonderful to know that I broke up with him for a reason.
Redeemer’s Tale
When I was 23, I dated this guy for five months. We went on vacation together and spent three nights a week together, but he wouldn’t call me his girlfriend, which hurt me a lot because I wanted more from him. He always seemed to have the upper hand in our relationship, in my opinion. However, the split had a silver lining in that it gave me the inspiration I needed to make many positive changes in the areas of my life that I was dissatisfied with. Two years later, I was living with the love of my life, working at my dream job, publishing my first book, and I couldn’t have been happier. I once saw my ex across the room at a charity event where I was with my boyfriend. It wasn’t difficult because he stood out because no one else was wearing a top hat (why?!). Even though I didn’t want to talk to him, my ex ultimately came up to my partner and I. During the course of our brief and unpleasant talk, my ex acknowledged that nothing in his life had truly changed and that he had come to the event particularly to try to meet women (and was having little success). Maybe it’s spiteful, but I loved that he saw me as happily married, prosperous, and confident — not to mention wearing a gorgeous dress and getting a blowout — when he was out in a top hat pursuing random women.
Still Very Near
Young Hispanic couple on a date in a restaurant laughing and hugging each other shutterstock
We were really happy together over our five years of dating. We had such amazing friendships. It came to an end when he established his life in Canada and I wanted to return to my hometown of New York. We amicably broke up and went our own ways since we both realized we weren’t each other’s forever person. We are close friends to this day, and I last saw him at my college graduation. He attended since my parents were unable to.
After that
We went out to supper while I was on vacation with my current boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend from a few years ago was our waitress. Seeing him after how brutally we ended was a shock. Strangely, the fact that my current boyfriend thought it was amusing provided me the confidence to get through dinner without the terror I formerly had toward the ex.
It’s possible for an ex meeting to trigger a torrent of memories, regardless of whether it made you feel sad, amused, validated, or relieved. No matter what your circumstance, know that others can empathize, and take pride in the progress you have made in moving past that relationship and healing. Next, thank you
