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Went Into A Bar For Martini

An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking old drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand.

He leaned closer while the old drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.

”Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But it feels like rubber.”

Curious, the attorney asked, “What do you have there?”

The old drunk replied, “I don’t know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.”

The attorney responded, “Let me take a look.”

So the old drunk handed it over and the lawyer rolled between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely by sniffing and licking it.

“Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, has no significant smell or taste, I sure don’t know what it is.

Where did you get it?” The old drunk man replied, “Out of my nose!”

A Little 10-Year-Old Girl Was Walking Home.

A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her:

After following along for a while, turns to her and asks.

“Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”

“NO!” Says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks.

“Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.”

“NO!” Says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says.

“Okay kid, my last offer! I’ll give you 20 Bucks and a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride.”

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out.

“Look, Dad, you’re the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley – YOU RIDE IT.”