A MAN TELLS AN OLD WOMAN TO LOWER HER SKIRT.
HER RESPONSE IS PRICELESS!
An old lady was standing at the railing of a cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: ‘Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
“Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.”
“But, madam, you are not wearing anything under your dress, and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied…
“Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.
He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem: how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head, a small elderly lady approached him and informed him she was lost. “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?” she inquired.
“Well, in reality, my property is fairly near that house,” the farmer explained. “I’d walk you there, but I can’t carry everything.”
“Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, a chicken under each arm, and a gosling in the other?” advised the elderly lady.
“Why, thank you very much,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home after following her advice.
On the way, he said, “Let’s take my shortcut and go down this alley.” “We’ll be there in no time.”
The small elderly lady examined him carefully before saying, “I am a lonely widow with no spouse to protect me… “How do I know you won’t pin me against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me when we go into the alley?”
“Holy smokes, lady!” said the farmer, stunned. I have a bucket, a gallon of paint, two hens, and a goose with me. “How could I possibly hold you up against a wall and do that?”
The old lady replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”
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