This couple has come to a difficult decision about taking in their recently orphaned niece.
The wife, identified as the OP (original poster), turned to Reddit to seek help, questioning whether she was wrong to not feel terrible about the potential of foster care.
Two orphaned youngsters.
OP clarified the problematic scenario by writing that her husband’s sister died of a heroin overdose, leaving behind two children: Rose, who is almost 17, and Lilly, who is seven years old.
The 23-year-old woman then described how she and her 26-year-old husband live on the East Coast, while his entire family resides in California.
“My husband’s mother is his only other family member, and she lives in her boyfriend’s little house. She’s retired and earns very little. This is to indicate that they don’t have enough space and can’t afford two children,” the OP wrote.
Rose, the older of the two young girls, intends to stay on her grandmother’s couch until she goes to college the following year, leaving seven-year-old Lilly in need of a long-term solution.
The dilemma
“She’s staying with them for right now but MIL really can’t care for her long term due to a multitude of reasons, MIL’s boyfriend also said he wants her out of his house,” said the OP.
OP did, however, explain that taking Lilly in with her and her husband was not an option, despite her mother-in-law’s wishes. “My husband and his mother want us to accept Lilly so she doesn’t go to foster care. “I’m against this for a variety of reasons,” she stated in her essay.
OP’s main reason for not wanting to take in Lilly is due to her husband’s lack of responsibility, and she explains that her husband only cooks two or three times a year and prefers to play video games when he’s not working.
The husband, who is in the military and has been deployed on multiple occasions, frequently works long hours and night shifts, leaving the OP concerned that she would carry primary responsibility for Lilly’s care due to her husband’s demanding schedule and frequent out-of-town work commitments.
Another reason the OP is apprehensive is that she does not want children. In her article, she challenges whether it is fair to expect her to adopt a seven-year-old whom she has never met and is not biologically related to.
Lilly’s extra obstacles, such as ADHD and behavioral issues, add to OP’s worry.
This circumstance has clearly produced friction between the couple.
