Just Act NaturalA heavily drunk man gets into a taxi in the middle of the night.
He stumbles into the back seat, str*ps off all his clothes, and throws them out the window.
The driver looks in the rearview mirror, panics, and yells, “Hey buddy! What the hell are you doing? This is a taxi, not your bedroom! Put your clothes back on!”
The drunk man slowly opens his eyes, hiccups, and says in a slurred voice, “Just mind your own business, pal.Keep driving, look at the meter, and collect your money…”
The furious driver barks back, “Collect what? You’re completely n*ked! Where am I even supposed to take you?!”
The drunk man suddenly bursts into tears and starts banging on the seat: “Take me home! And please turn up the AC. Every time I come home drunk, my wife strips me n*ked and kicks me out on the street. I just managed to escape into your car!”
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A nun walks into a doctor’s office looking completely exhausted.
After a thorough examination, the doctor smiles and says, “Sister, it’s nothing serious. You are just completely run down and stressed from overworking. I’m going to prescribe you a mild sedative.”
The nun sighs, “Thank you, Doctor, but I really dislike taking artificial pills. Is there a more natural alternative?”
The doctor thinks for a moment, leans in, and whispers, “Actually, yes. Every night before bed, drink a glass of gin. It will relax your muscles and help you sleep wonderfully.”
The nun looks worried, “Oh Doctor, I am a woman of the cloth! If anyone in the convent sees me buying strong alcohol or smells it on my breath, what will they think?”
The doctor winks, “Simple! Just ask the liquor store clerk to pour the gin into an empty milk bottle. If anyone asks, tell them it’s a special, high-nutrient milk for your health.”
The nun agrees it’s a brilliant idea. That evening, she brings the milk bottle into the convent’s common room, pours a large glass, and sips it slowly. Another nun walks past, gets curious, and asks to try a sip.
The second nun takes a big gulp, her eyes widen in absolute shock, and she gasps, “Praise the Lord! Sister, you HAVE to give me the address of that cow!!!”
