A teenage boy named Tommy went to church to confess his sins.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he whispered. “I’ve been fooling around with a loose girl.”
The priest immediately recognized the voice. “Is that you, Tommy O’Shaughnessy?”
“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl?” the priest asked eagerly.
“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Tommy, I’m bound to find out sooner or later,” the priest coaxed. “Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?”
“I cannot say, Father.”
“Was it Lisa O’Shanter?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Cathy O’Dell? Fiona Mallory? Brenda O’Malley?”
To every name, Tommy remained fiercely silent.
Sighing in frustration, the priest finally gave up. “Well, Tommy, I admire your loyalty, but a sin is a sin. For your penance, you are suspended from being an altar boy for the next four months. Now go and behave yourself.”
Tommy nodded, left the booth, and walked back to his pew. His best friend, Sean, immediately leaned over and whispered, “Well? What did he give you?”
Tommy grinned from ear to ear and whispered back,
“Four months of vacation and five hot new leads!”
