A husband shares insights into what a guy might be thinking when he’s quiet.
There are many things that your husband or boyfriend would like you to know about him. However, he just won’t tell you. Is he purposely not sharing these things with you or has it simply been a a long time since you had a deep conversation together?
The answer is of course different for each couple, but here are five things every husband wants his wife to know:
1. He loves you.
You are his world, even if you don’t think so. He doesn’t always have an easy time to express his feelings or sharing verbally, but he can show you in other ways. While you prefer words of endearment or a hug, he demonstrates his love when buying you your favorite snack just because or mows the lawn.
2. He wants to be Number One.
He loves your devotion to the children, but he sometimes feels left out. Sometimes, he wants to feel more important than the kids. For instance, when he’s talking to you and the children interrupt, he wished you’d put him first instead of attending to them. Although he’s your full partner in parenting, he doesn’t want to compete for Supermom’s attention. He wishes you would take interest in him, spend time with him, and go out once in a while. Showing your kids that your marriage comes first is a valuable lesson which will benefit them in the long-run although they’re “kicking and screaming” when you leave them with a baby sitter.
3. He’s hurt when you complain about him with your friends or in public.
When you make a joke about the way he can’t find anything or he doesn’t listen to what you say, or that he’s a hermit, he doesn’t find it funny. When you criticize him in public, he will feel shamed. After a while, these remarks begin to chip away at his trust in you as his loving partner.
4. His sense of self-worth is directly connected to his abilities to provide for you.
If he is currently out of a job, and you’re experiencing tension in your relationship, it’s no wonder why. At that time, he needs you to understand how hard it is for him when he can’t provide as he feels like a failure. When you get anxious about your financial situation, it makes him feel even worse because he has let you down. There’s nothing more satisfying for a man than providing for his family. Be aware that money is an extremely charged issue for both of you. Any discussion about the topic will be smoother if you’re more sensitive and focus on crunching numbers instead of battling fears.
5. He wants the appreciation from you.
He would like to know that you appreciate him for everything that he does for you and that you appreciate him for who he is. When you complain about all of the things he doesn’t do right, he won’t feel that you value him. So when you make any negative remarks, try to think of five positive things to say to counteract the negative effects of a critical word. We may feel so busy with life’s to-do list that we forget to express our appreciation, but we seem to find time to share a complaint or frustration with our spouse. Try carving out a few minutes each day before bed where you share with your husband what you appreciate about him and give him the reason.
These five points may be not all that surprising or profound, but you’ll be amazed at its positive and immediate effect they have on your marriage.
By making him Number One, accepting the way your husband loves you, being careful about criticizing him, monitoring your money fears and expressing appreciation for him, you’re showing him that you’re willing to meet him half way toward a better and more fulfilling relationship.
Source: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-things-husband-wants-know-wont-tell-hesaid/
