Are you love with the person or you are simply attached to the person? Not many can differentiate between the two, because there are very blurred lines between them. But if you are facing this question in your mind, here stated are the differences between love and attachment.
1. Selflessness vs Selfishness
Love is characterized by selflessness, where the focus shifts from one’s own needs to the happiness and well-being of the other person. In a loving relationship, individuals strive to make their partners happy, often putting their partner’s needs equal to or above their own. They genuinely care about their partner’s feelings, comfort, and overall well-being, and they take actions that reflect this care and concern.
Attachment is often more about personal security and satisfaction. It’s a state where one’s own needs, such as the need for security, comfort, or validation, take precedence. In an attachment-based relationship, individuals might rely heavily on their partners to fulfill these needs, making the relationship more about personal fulfillment and less about mutual growth and genuine care for the other person.
2. Freedom vs Control
When you are in love with someone, you feel free. You can finally be yourself around the person who knows you inside and out.
But when you are attached to someone, you will notice that your feelings control your entire mind and body; in turn, you may even manipulate people to be with you.
3. Permanence
Love is an enduring and stable emotion that stands the test of time. It remains resilient amidst life’s challenges and changes, maintaining its strength and depth over the years. In a loving relationship, individuals continue to care for each other, respect each other’s autonomy, and promote personal growth, regardless of circumstances. This consistent and steadfast nature of love makes it a lasting force in our lives.
Attachment, unlike love, can often be fleeting and conditional, heavily influenced by changing circumstances. It’s a bond that’s driven more by personal needs and insecurities than by genuine affection for the other person.
When these needs are met, the attachment feels strong; but when circumstances change and the relationship no longer serves these needs, the attachment can weaken or disappear altogether. This transient and conditional nature of attachment distinguishes it from the enduring and unconditional nature of love.
4. Growth vs. Stagnation
When you and your partner love each other dearly, you both grow together. Besides teaching each other values, you both also support the good and bad as well.
However, prolonged attachment turns toxic, as you are likely to control the person, for your own needs. This way, you are not only risking your personality and overall growth, but your partner’s as well.
