Life changes drastically after an affair. The person who gets cheated on, goes through a lot of pain, hurt and betrayal; they can’t trust their partner anymore. The one who cheats feels undeniable guilt settling within them, no matter the circumstances.
A lot of people nowadays find themselves at the receiving end of an illicit affair. A lot of people wonder where they went wrong and even resort to taking online quizzes to decide if they should forgive their partner. But before you make a decision, here are some points you could consider.
1. Assess how you feel
Quite often, people tend to invalidate their feelings based on what they are expected to feel and end up burying their real emotions. Whether it is anger, betrayal, sadness, or anxiety, allow yourself to sit with these feelings. As tough as it may be, take your time to accept what has happened and think about where you want to go from here.
2. Understand what you want in a partner
Cheating can make you rethink everything, especially your perception of relationships and what you want in a partner. After assessing how you feel, take some time to decide and set boundaries and think about what you can or cannot forgive, things you would not tolerate, things you expect from your partner etc.
3. Think about how it affects your family
You may also consider how it affects your family, especially if you have young children or live with an extended family. As unfair as it sounds, many people may choose to make amends in a marriage just because they are equally invested in raising their kids. It is very understandable but it’s important to remember that forgiveness should not be seen just as a convenience and it may very well lead to more difficult issues in the future not only in your relationship with your partner but also with yourself. While it’s important to think of how it can affect your loved ones, also think about what’s best for you and your emotional and mental health.
