After his first day at university, a young man calls his mother.
“I think I’ve made a terrible mistake,” he says.
“I might as well pack up and come home now.”
“Oh darling, what happened?” she asks.
“They gathered all the new students in this huge lecture hall,” he begins.
“Hundreds of us. Then the Dean walks in and gives this big speech.”
He pauses.
“He tells us to look at the person on our right… and then the person on our left.”
His mother goes quiet. “And?”
“And then he says: one of you won’t be here by graduation.”
“Oh dear…” she says softly.
“Who was on your right?”
“A full-scholarship genius. The kind who actually reads the syllabus for fun.”
“And on your left?”
A pause.
“The aisle.”
Another pause.
“Well…” his mother says carefully, “that doesn’t sound too bad.”
The young man sighs.
“Exactly. Statistically speaking…
I’m the entire problem.”
