Silence may be golden sometimes, but it can also be a weapon. People use it to punish, control, manipulate, disempower, or run away from a person or problem.
Wondering how you should respond to the silent treatment? You don’t want to reinforce this behavior. Nor do you want to meet it with similarly juvenile reactions. What’s the point of crossing your arms and sewing your lips together? Reacting to the silent treatment certainly won’t improve your relationship.
Keep your cool and recognize that your silent friend or partner is trying to speak volumes but just can’t manage the words. Maintain your dignity and try these 4 strategies.
1. Find the reason why
Surprisingly, you may be the reason why your partner still gives you silent treatment. Think of the recent things that have happened and know if you are supposed to apologize, buy a gift, speak over it, or just allow your partner to come to their senses.
2. Act as if it doesn’t affect you
If someone is giving you a silent treatment and sees your reaction, the person is likely to do more to make you sober or pained. But when you behave like it doesn’t affect you, you build an aura of mystery around you and leave your partner wondering how you are.
3. Respond with calmness and speak kindly.
If you’re getting the silent treatment in a relationship, you will have to confront your partner at some point, even if your partner resists. When that time comes, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and initiate a talk in a private, comfortable place.
Then, use the “sandwich method” of breaking the ice and offering feedback. Start off with a positive, factual statement. Then calmly state the hurtful behaviors or tactics your partner has been using. Try use “I” statements to express how you feel rather than blaming him or her.
Make an offer of reconciliation. For example, a conversation with your significant other may look like this:
“Babe, I love you, and I want our relationship to be enjoyable and supportive for the both of us. When you avoid talking to me about things that bother you and just clam up, it makes me feel isolated and unloved. I need to feel connected to you, and I want you to know I’m here to listen if there’s something on your mind.”
4. Take care of yourself.
When someone gives you the silent treatment, it’s easy to get thrown off-balance.
You might feel like you’re grasping at straws and beat yourself up for not knowing what a loved one is thinking. The moment you start to feel like that, STOP.
– Stop beating yourself up.
– Stop berating yourself for not being a mind reader.
– Stop thinking it’s your responsibility to help an immature person mature.
If your partner gives any indication that they want to change, offer to help them. Otherwise, let them be.
Be sure to surround yourself with positive people. Eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly. Practice positive affirmations daily.
Remind yourself that you’re not a terrible person for being in a relationship with someone who gives you the silent treatment.
It’s their issue, not yours.
