He said…. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said…. You wear pants don’t you? He said….. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said… That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said….. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said…. Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said….. Why are married women heavier than single women? single women?
She said….. Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.
If you are up to some good laughter, you are at the right place as the following story will surely make your day.
A husband and wife are at a church, listening to a lengthy ceremony. The wife can’t help herself but fall asleep.
Her husband notices this and tries to wake her up by poking her with his finger.
As he touches her, the sermon asks a question about the gathering that had led the Israelites to freedom from slavery in Egypt. Startled awake, the woman shouts,
“The Almighty!” before falling asleep yet again.
As the ceremony goes on, the husband pokes her once again just as the sermon asks about the one who had sacrificed for the forgiveness of their sins.
The woman, all sleepy says, “Jesus Christ!”
When the sermon asked another question, her husband tried to wake her up for the third time now.
However, the timing didn’t seem to be right as the question was “What words did Eve speak to Adam after the birth of their last child?”
At this point, the wife was angry at her husband for constantly poking her with his finger so she exclaimed: “I swear, if you touch me with that again, I’ll snap it in half.”
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