Newborn babies are sensitive little souls, so as a parent, your priority is of course tending to all of their needs. All of us love to snuggle our babies into us because this brings back close feelings and safety for the child. However, the amount of cuddles your baby appears to need sometimes can make you feel that she’s permanently attached to you.
So when it is right to hold your baby and when you should leave her? Your baby needs warm, gentle and physical contact, so whenever snuggling up against you, she thinks, “This is exactly what I want.” But that doesn’t mean you should hold her or cuddle her all the time.
The sense of security and love that comes from your reassuring cuddle helps build your baby’s healthy emotional development.
Your baby, however has other emotional needs too, namely the need to become independent as well as to be able to manage life’s little ups and downs without you always by her side. So, getting the balance right is important.
If you hold your baby all the time, it is believed that she will:
♦ Expect you to be with her every minute of the day.
♦ Stay dependent on you for longer than necessary.
♦ Be unable to learn how to cope on her own.
♦ Become distressed the minute you’re out of her sight.
But, if you only hold your baby very rarely, she will:
♦ Perhaps begin to think, “Mum doesn’t love me.”
♦ Probably start to feel quite sad and even lonely.
♦ Lose interest in what’s going on around her.
♦ Be uncomfortable in your arms when you do hold her.
Should I pick my baby up all the time when she cries?
The answer will depend on the circumstances. To deal with your baby, extreme measures rarely works – your baby will tend to develop best under moderation.
That’s the reason why it’s better neither to hold your baby the moment she cries nor to ignore her crying altogether. Take a more reasonable approach and don’t set hard and fast rules about picking her up or leaving her.
It all comes down to getting to know your baby as an individual. You will soon learn what her different cries mean – whether she is in discomfort, or just wants some attention.
Some people claim that a baby who is held by her parent every time she cries will soon think, “This is a good way to get a cuddle from mum,” And before you know it, she will cry all the time.
On the other hand, there are other people arguing that a crying baby is obviously distressed and needs to be held in order to help make her feel better. The root cause of her discomfort will not go away, and it might even intensify, if her cries are ignored.
It is a question of balancing these two views so as to reach a more moderate approach.
What if my baby crying in the night?
There may be times when she cries in the night simply for the sake of it. If you hold your baby and give her a drink then you may find she starts to wake up every night. Who can blame her?
If you think this is the reason why your baby cries at night, try this:
♦ Instead of holding her, go into her room, stand by her cot and talk to her reassuringly, but don’t touch her.
♦ If she cries the next night , do the same, but stand by her cot without saying anything.
♦ If the baby cries again the next night, stand in her room silently, not right by her.
♦ By gradually reducing contact, your baby’s night crying should gradually stop altogether.
Source: https://www.madeformums.com/baby/should-you-hold-you-baby-all-the-time/
