In relationships, we often need to validate our partners and their needs. However, situations sometimes may not be in our favour – we may have our own problems going on and, in the process, we may end up making our partners feel bad, or not address their needs and expectations like they want us to. If you are doing any of these things, you are invalidating your partner
1. Minimising their feelings
Every time your partner opens up about their emotions, you should avoid dismissing or belittling their feelings.
If you say things like, “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re overreacting”, it can make them feel invalidated. Instead, offer a listening ear and acknowledge their emotions without judgment.
2. Offering solutions too soon
Your intentions are noble, but offering solutions right away can sometimes make your partner feel unheard. They might just want to vent and share their feelings without seeking immediate answers.
First, empathise and validate their emotions before you discuss possible solutions.
3. Comparing their experiences
Comparing your partner’s experiences to others, especially in a way that suggests their struggles are insignificant, can be invalidating.
Each person’s journey is unique, and your partner’s feelings are valid regardless of others’ experiences.
4. Dismissing their concerns
Brushing off your partner’s concerns by saying, “You worry too much” or “It’s not a big deal” can make them feel unheard. Every worry or concern has its roots, and addressing them with empathy shows your partner that their thoughts matter.
5. Interrupting or not listening actively
Interrupting your partner or not fully engaging when they’re sharing something important can communicate that you’re not fully present.
Give them your undivided attention, ask questions, and actively listen to show that their thoughts and feelings are valued.
Avoiding inadvertent invalidation of your partner’s feelings is an essential step toward fostering a deeper bond. By validating their emotions or experiences, you demonstrate your commitment to their emotional well-being.
Keep in mind, each interaction is an opportunity to show empathy and support, ultimately nurturing a stronger and more resilient connection.
