There’s no guide for a perfect marriage, you just have to find what works out for you and your partner and stick to it.
There are various mistakes that can bring an end to marriages and peaceful homes. Most of these mistakes are avoidable if you know them.
1. Money issues.
One of the major issues breaking homes and marriages in this Century is money issues.
In a time when most countries in the world are going through financial challenges, you must discuss your financial commitment with your partner. Don’t go and buy a house when your partner is struggling to pay off a debt.
Don’t go and spend money unwisely when your partner is looking for money to invest. Financial transparency among couples will go a long way in preventing divorce.
2. Lack of trust.
When there is no trust in a marriage, misunderstanding will come in. For any marriage to grow, couples must learn to trust one another, work out their differences and find ways to be on the same page.
Whenever you suspect your partner of doing something wrong, don’t just assume that he actually did wrong, make your findings to avoid making baseless allegations.
3. Having unrealistic expectations
Many marriages fail because of unrealistic expectations people put on themselves, their partner, and their marriage. Marriage is a serious (and hopefully lifelong) commitment that will have good and bad days, ups and downs, romance and frustration, and obstacles you could not have foreseen from the outset. Because of all these things, expecting your marriage to be in perfect harmony at all times is completely unrealistic! Similarly, expecting yourself and your partner to be perfect at all times is equally unrealistic. People are human, and we must accept mistakes as they come, learn from them, and move on.
Another common problem in many marriages is when someone expects their partner to solve all of their problems. You cannot expect your partner to be your therapist. It isn’t fair to them, and frankly, they probably don’t have the proper training to help you deal with your demons. Expecting too much of your partner emotionally will totally drain them, and add stress to their lives. They are there to support you through tough times, not to assume your burden. In order to avoid setting unrealistic expectations, try to focus on acceptance in all its forms. Acceptance of change, frustration, fights, but most importantly, acceptance of your partner, yourself and your union, and all the flaws and strengths that go with it.
4. Not giving each other space
No matter how much you like each other, you cannot spend every second of every day together. Too much togetherness can cause you to feel suffocated by your relationship. It can cause you to stay in a total standstill, devoid of growth and exploration. It is important to recognize that marriage is a union between two individuals. Don’t lose your sense of self for the sake of the relationship. Although many believe a true union is the total partnership of two people, it is actually a theory that may end up weakening your marriage in the long run. Taking space away from your spouse will allow you to check in on yourself, and do things that encourage personal growth. Creating these spaces for you and your partner acknowledges a mutual trust that you have for each other, which is an important way to ensure your marriage lasts. Plus, taking space away from each other means that you get to look forward to being together again. After all, absence, even for only a few hours, makes the heart grow fonder.
5. Keeping to oneself.
Most people prefer to keep to themselves and when things go sideways, they blame their partners for not paying closer attention to them.
Your husband or wife is human, he/she can’t read your mind. Learn to open up on your challenges so that you can work things out together.
References: unique9ja.com, hellorelish.com
