Ladies, silence is healthy in a relationship but NEVER keep silent in these things
1) Your deep-rooted fears.
You should be able to share with him your worst fears, whether they involve him or not. Let your guy be your shoulder to cry on and a person to rely on and open up to him about these things. You can start off small by talking about minor phobias that you might have involving heights or spiders, but you eventually need to open up about your secret fears so that he can support you and understand you better.
2) Your jealousies
It may just be a comment he made about his coworker or a little bigger, like the way he often drives her home from work because it’s on his way. Talk about it before it becomes a problem that needs to be fixed. You don’t need to make a big fuss about it, but by approaching it early on in a casual manner, you might end up saving both of you some trouble and prevent resentments from growing out of control.
3) Resentments about his job
When your guy starts spending late nights at work instead of eating dinner with you or missing special holidays in order to cover at work, it can be too easy to grow resentful of his job taking away the attention that was once yours. Talk to your man about how you feel and see if there are compromises that can be worked out. People usually spend years or even decades doing one job, so if it’s going to be long term (the job as well as the relationship), it should be something that you can both deal with.
4) Money troubles
When a couple shares finances but don’t see eye to eye on budgeting, it can end up being disastrous down the road, so don’t let it get that far. Whether you feel like your man is over-spending money that you two can’t afford, or perhaps you got some debt you’re struggling to pay off, don’t let it internalize and slowly bubble over into a bigger mess. Since money trouble is such a delicate topic, make sure to approach the topic when you’re both in a good mood and never do it in an attacking manner.
5) The “kids and marriage” topic
Whether or not a person wants to get married and have kids, do just one of those things, or neither, is more often than not a permanent viewpoint. A person who says they never want to have children now is not likely to change their viewpoint three years down the road, or even 10 years in the future. If your partner has somewhere along the line mentioned something that leads you to believe he wants a different type of future than you do, then you need to speak up and figure out what this means for you as a couple. It might be an emotional talk, but don’t be afraid to reveal your true feelings. Keeping quiet about what you want out of the future could lead to great heartache and resentment later on.
6) Your goals for the future
What are your dreams and goals regarding things, like family, traveling, career choices, etc.? Share these with your man! Not only is it fun to daydream about what your future together might hold, but it may help you learn important things about each other. Perhaps his goal is to stay local and be near his family, but you’ve always had a wanderlust that won’t let you sit still for long. Learn to compromise together because if you’re in it for the long-haul, it’s a skill you will need. It’s also important to learn what you and he are not willing to compromise on, and figure out if your goals will allow you to be compatible.
