A mother who is fighting with her ex about their daughter’s education took Reddit to share her story. This woman asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum to weigh in.
Accordingly, after she gave birth to a baby, her ex walked out on her. Now, years later, he has shared custody of their daughter. But now that he’s back in their lives, he wants his daughter to change schools. The woman wrote:
“I (f28) had my daughter (f9) when I was quite young. Her father (m33) bailed and I didn’t have any family to support me so the first few years were tough. I ended up taking an extra two years to graduate college and I had to put my career goals/ambitions on hold. Now, I don’t regret any of this and I love my daughter, but I wasn’t able to give her the life I wanted her to have in the first few years.
Through some miracle or luck, I was able to get her into an amazing private school in our city with almost full coverage financial aid. While there were some out of pocket costs + after school care costs, I wanted to set my daughter up for success and saw this as a way to do so. She has been at this school her whole school life and absolutely loves it.
Last year, her father moved to the city we live in and reached out. He said he wanted to be a part of her life and didn’t want to miss out on any more moments. We initially tried to handle things together without the courts, but he was unhappy about the slow progress and decided to take me to court for visitation. He asked for 50/50 custody and was awarded it, but now has to pay child support including school tuition which has lead to this issue. He initially agreed to pay for private education in court.
Because her father makes a great salary, our financial aid is no longer eligible and are now only a fraction of what we previously had. This was taken into consideration during our custody case and her father now has to pay 70% of the yearly tuition, based on our income ratio and other factors.
This worked out for a while until last month, when he reached out and brought up enrolling her into the public school system. I asked why and he told me that since we were both parents we both get a say in making decisions for her. He claims that since I made the decision to enrol her before he was around, now that he was involved it should be re-evaluated together ‘parent to parent’.
I told him that with all the changes she’s experiences this past year, keeping this one constant in her life is only beneficial and supported by her therapist and other support systems. I told him if he was unhappy with the arrangement, he could take it up with the courts but I wasn’t going to do it ‘parent to parent’. He called me difficult but when I asked if it was for financial reasons, he said no and it was about making decisions together. He chose to not pursue it in court but when she got back from her fathers last week, she was on the verge of tears and asked me if she would have to move schools. AITA for sending my daughter to a private school even though her father doesn’t wants me too?”
Many Redditors thought the dad was in the wrong here. The following is some comments:
“You need a better lawyer. You need more custody, and back payments,”
“He seems selfish and petty,”
“Her father doesn’t get to come back into her life to make [her] change it,”
“He’s lying. Of course it’s about the money.
She’s doing very well. Don’t rock the boat. She’s been there for years and has many friends.
Play his little game out. Show him brochures from the school and explain why you chose it and why it’s important to her to stay where she’s excelling.”
Source: Reddit
