Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite position.
One says, “I think I enjoy the rod position the best.”
“I don’t think I have ever heard of that one,” says the other cowboy.
“What is it?” “Well, it’s where it?”
“Well, it’s where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her , and whisper in her ear, ‘boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters. Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds.”
It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter.
As one cowboy’s horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.
The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake.
“Hold on there, partner,” said the snake, “don’t shoot – I’m an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don’t shoot me, I’ll give you any three wishes you want.”
The rattlesnake said, “All right, when you get back to the bunk house you’ll have all three wishes.”
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror.
Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable.
He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted, “Oh my God, I was riding the mare!”
