Saving a marriage after an affair, especially one in which your partner has a kid with another person, is extremely difficult and requires making difficult life-changing decisions. A Reddit member asked for people’s comments on her life predicament, in which she flatly refused to have any contact with her husband’s child from an affair.
After nine years of marriage, my husband and I discovered in 2021 that he was being sued for child support. This disclosure arose from an affair he had shortly after our marriage, which almost led to the demise of our relationship. However, we sought counseling together and agreed on specific terms for me to remain in the marriage.
One of these criteria was that my spouse work a second job to make his child support payments without depleting our household budget. In addition, I made it obvious that I had no intention of having a relationship with the child as a result of his affair. My spouse has spent the last few years getting to know his child, but he recently informed me of some “baby mamma drama.”
It turns out that his affair partner intends to self-surrender in May for an 8-month sentence. My spouse felt compelled to take custody of the child during this time to keep them from moving to live with their grandparents on the opposite shore. The youngster is attached to their existing surroundings and does not want to move schools or be separated from their friends, father, and mother (who will be detained locally).
Upon hearing this news, I left the house and returned with an apartment guide for our area, indicating my stance on the situation. My husband questioned if I was serious, to which I affirmed that my feelings remained unchanged from three years ago. Despite his plea that the circumstances were exceptional, I reiterated that I had no interest in caring for his child and offered an amicable divorce if he chose to take custody.
I made it clear that I stood firm in my decision and that I would not be responsible for someone else’s child.
